There’s an old saying, “Denial is Not A River in Egypt.” It’s actually not very difficult to recognize denial if you know what to look for! Yes, even in yourself.
It can apply to all areas of life and I could give you many different examples but the most recent I’ve been asked about are money and relationships.
Addiction is a prime example of this. Although it’s too big a topic to talk about here, it’s a good example of how people stay in denial so they don’t have to deal with real feelings.
You might think why would someone want to stay in this place? Usually because it’s so much easier to sweep under the rug what you don’t want to deal with. Think about these questions for a moment.
- Do you have all the clients you want?
- Are you making enough money?
- Do you say one thing and then do another? (this is something in the past that I’ve been guilty of.)
- Do you stay focused and follow through on commitments? If not, why not?
- Are you being authentic or are you letting people see what you want them to see but the real story is very different? (this is a big one in business for a lot
What about in relationships!
- Are you truly happy?
- Do you stay in the relationship because it’s easier
and you are afraid to be alone?
- Do you communicate effectively with your partner?
- Do you or your partner drink too much?
- Do you say whatever you think your partner wants to hear instead of being honest about your feelings?
If you said no to any of them where do you think you are?
I could give you many, many more examples other than addiction but money and relationships are the latest.
Over the years people have asked me, “how can I change this without me feeling guilty?” Guilt is another feeling that can have a huge negative impact on your life and that too is very easy to overcome, as I discovered many years ago.
You can of course find a therapist and deal with underlying issues or you can hire a coach to help you to get honest, not someone who will tell you what you want to hear but someone with your permission who will push you to see your issues or of course, you can get gut honest with yourself. When you change the way you think it really does change your life.
For me the answer, if I was still in that place would be to hire a coach or to get ‘real’ with myself. However, remember if you are doing this on your own you need to have some kind of objective support system and be willing to allow them to keep you honest.
I know this is an unusual topic for me to discuss however, I didn’t realize just how much this was affecting people. All denial does is deplete energy and dilute your power so although it may be uncomfortable, dealing with your issues could be extremely beneficial to you.
If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to leave me a note or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org